Rosh Hashana
1 - 2 Tishrei 5764
September 27 - 28, 2003

Daf Yomi: Zevachim 110-111

Guest Author:
Rabbi Boaz Tomsky

Associate Member, Young Israel Council of Rabbis

 

I can distinctly remember when I was only seven years old, my Rebbe presented to the class the story of Akaidat Yitzchak. He described in detail how Avraham was willing to listen to HaShem and sacrifice his beloved son, Yitzchak. It is in this merit that we stand on Rosh Hashana and ask to be remembered favorably. I began to imagine what it would be like if HaShem asked me to sacrifice my own son. My conclusion was that I would certainly do as HaShem asked. What is this great thing that Avraham did? Wouldn't any person, including a seven year old, follow verbatim the command of HaShem?

The Tanna D'vei Eliyahu says that one should always ask themselves, "Maatai Yagiyu Maasay Limaasay Avotai - When will my deeds reach the level of those of my forefathers? "Rav Simchah Bunim explains that the word Yagiyu really means �to touch�. We are not expected to reach the level of our Avot. However, we are able to "touch" them in terms of emulating their attributes and characteristics. We must try to relate to our Avot on our own level, on our own terms, to get a glimpse into their unique greatness. I will take a quantum leap and connect a recent experience to the trial of the Akaidah.

For many years, I longed to do something a bit unconventional for an ordained Rabbi. I wanted to go skydiving. It wasn't until last month when I mustered up enough courage to do a tandem jump. When I arrived on the aircraft, I became a little unsure of myself. Three skilled parachuters casually jumped out of the aircraft. Then it was my turn! I inched my way to the door of the plane. My instructor looked me straight in the eye and yelled, "Jump!" I turned to him to better hear what he had just said. It all seemed very unclear what he was asking from me. I retorted, "What?" He said, albeit a little louder this time, "Jump now!" My eyes widened as far as they possibly could. I asked him for a third time, "Go? Now?�. He said back, "Yes. Go!" And then I did.

As I reflect back at my brief conversation with my instructor I wonder why I repeated myself over and over again? I certainly understood what the devise strapped on my back was for. I don't think I was hard of hearing. What was going through my mind at that auspicious moment?

Ever since I was a child, I was taught to take care of myself and to stay out of harms way. This would certainly include jumping 11,000 feet out of an airplane with only a cord separating me from instant death. This is why I questioned my instructor. I couldn't comprehend how someone could be telling me to do something I was always taught not to do.

This was the test of the Akaidat Yitzchak. It is altogether possible that some Tzadikim could flawlessly carry out similar instructions. But we must imagine what Avraham must have felt at that moment in time. He was promised by HaShem, "Ki BiYitzchak Yikaray Lecha Zorah." The future of Klal Yisrael is dependent on Yitzchak's survival. Now he is instructed to sacrifice his son. This went against everything he was ever taught. Avraham could have easily asked for some clarification. He could have asked, "How could I kill my son? All of these promises won't be fulfilled! If I sacrifice my son, there will be no Klal Yisrael!" But he never questioned HaShem. Instead, Avraham accepted HaShem's command unconditionally, regardless of his prior knowledge. Most of us would have fallen short of the mark. I would have turned to HaShem and asked, "What did You say? Could You repeat that please?" This is what I experienced personally. I questioned a direct command because it was in my nature to not throw myself out of a plane. I now know the answer to my question when I was only a boy of seven years. No, I could not possibly reach the level of Avraham. I would have asked, "What? Go?" We may not be capable of reaching the level of our Avot but perhaps we can strive to touch them.

This is the concept of Teshuva. The Rambam, in the second Perek of Hilchot Teshuva, offers a definition of a complete Baal Teshuva. Someone who is confronted with the same opportunity to sin but doesn't. The Rambam says that you must be in the same location, have similar desires, and the same opportunity to do the sin. Why does the Rambam mandate that everything must be exactly the same to be considered a Baal Teshuva?

The Gemara (Succah 52B) states that the Yetzer Harah can progressively control a person in the same way one gradually acquires greater degrees of ownership over a house. First the Yetzer Harah is a temporary visitor who stays briefly and then continues onward. The Yetzer Harah then becomes a more permanent guest until he eventually acquires full control over the home. Similarly, the Yetzer Harah slowly affects the individual until he takes complete control. The person becomes a Baal Chet, one immersed in sin. They are out of control like someone suffering from a severe addiction problem.
This is the message of the Rambam. The litmus test to see if you are in control is when you are confronted with the same exact situation. Naturally, you would pull yourself toward sin since it has become inbred. If you avoid sin, it shows you are capable of going against your initial instincts. You have recreated your essence and are therefore a complete Baal Teshuva.

The Gemara says (Kiddushin 40B), a person who was a Rasha their whole life and does Teshuva at the end of their days, their sins will not be considered. Why does Teshuva have such a powerful effect that all of the hurt he caused is as considered as though it had never happened? When a person does something wrong, they are punished for their wrongdoings, regardless of what they have now become! Why is Teshuva any different?

George Sand, a French Romantic writer from the 19th century once said, "The old woman I shall become will be quite different from the woman I am now. Another �I� is beginning." Teshuva doesn't mean that you have changed from your previous ways. Teshuva means that you are a completely new person. [This is similar to a convert who is called a Katan SheNolad - a newborn child] This is why HaShem will not count a Baal Teshuva's past sins. Their sins aren't even in the past, they never existed. The man standing before us now shows no resemblance to the man he was. Therefore, his sins are considered as if they never were.

The paragraph immediately preceding Viduy states, "May our prayer come before you and do not ignore our supplication, for we are not so brazen and obstinate as to say before you�that we are righteous and have not sinned, rather we and our forefathers have sinned."

Rabbi Yochanan Zweig, Rosh HaYeshiva of Talmudic University in Miami asked a question about this declaration. Just because a person isn't brazen enough to lie and say that they didn't sin is reason enough for HaShem to answer his Tefillot? A person who does sin and considers themselves to be upright and righteous is delusional! Why would anyone lie and say they didn't sin? HaShem knows what I did and didn't do!

The Gemara says (Kiddushin 40A) that a person who is accustomed to sin will eventually consider what they are doing as permissible. We will rationalize to ourselves that we aren't really doing anything wrong. This way, we justify our actions and tell ourselves we don't need to change. This is why the mere admittance to a wrongdoing is actually a huge step in the right direction. The opening words at an AA meeting is, "My name is Ploni and I am an alcoholic." Without admitting that we have shortcomings, they can never be rectified.

Some addictions are harder to detect than others. We create valid reasons to rationalize what we do. This is the meaning of the closing words, "BUT we and our forefathers sinned." It is often the conjunction, BUT which causes us to sin. We say, "I know this is not the right thing to do, BUT�" One must constantly ask themselves, "Am I in control of my life or am I out of control?" When we admit that there is a flaw in ourselves, we are on the right road to recovery. This includes removing the word BUT from our vocabulary. We will then become in control and empowered over our decisions. This is why we ask HaShem to find favor in us on this merit alone. We recognize that our instincts and our essence are not always in line with where they should be. One doesn't need to jump out of an airplane to get in touch with their essence. Instead, one must take the plunge toward change.

Good Yom Tov!