Parshas Ki Seytzey
Parshat
Ki Tetze
13 Elul 5768
September 13, 2008
Daf Yomi: Gitin 64
Guest
Rabbi:
Rabbi Rafael Wizman
Young Israel of Commack, NY
Perhaps the most puzzling chapter of this portion of Ki Teitzei is the one regarding the rebellious son, Ben Sorer Umoreh. The Torah states that a wayward and rebellious son who disobeys his father and mother should be brought to the elders (court) of the city and stoned to death by all the city residents.
Rashi quotes the Gemara in Sanhedrin that the death penalty imposed on the rebellious son is not because of the gravity of his sins, but because of his future actions. If at the age of 13 he steals money to buy and consume a large amount of meat and alcohol (Zolel Vessove), it is clear that he will become a monstrous person. When he grows up, he will likely become a gangster. Therefore, the Torah requires his death while he is still innocent and before he commits serious crimes. “Yamut Zakkay V’al Yamut Chayav.”
Several questions come to mind: In view of the above, why is this youngster not given a chance to do Teshuva? Why must he die for crimes he has not yet committed? Why is this one selected to die while he is innocent? Should this not be the case for everyone? The Torah records that Chanoch was taken away by HaShem because he was likely to go astray (Genesis 5-24). Did not others go astray during Chanoch’s time? Furthermore, the Gemara Sanhedrin continues that there never was a Ben Sorer Umoreh, nor will there ever be one. Is this then a superfluous part in the Torah?
And does not a father absolve himself of his responsibility for his son after the age of 13 by reciting Baruch Shepetrani, etc.? Why must the father now feel an obligation to punish his Bar Mitzvah age rebellious son?
These and other questions are dealt with by several statements made in the Gemara and many Meforshim (commentaries) which can ease our confusion. The Torah teaches us a great lesson of education. The Torah makes it the responsibility of the parents to at least be of one opinion as to how to educate a child. They cannot be in disagreement. If the mother and father are non-harmonious about how to discipline the child, in fact, if peace does not reign in their home, or if one of them is blind or deaf, we cannot blame the child for his misdeeds nor can he be punished for them. For he simply was unable to receive a proper discipline and a correct pattern of behavior.
It is expected of parents to instill Torah values in a child by the age of 13; the values that teach us to forgo our physical pleasures for the sake of HaShem. It is not proper for a Ben Torah to get drunk or to stuff his mouth with excess food. While a father is not punished for his son’s sins, he is not absolved from the obligation to educate his son in a proper manner Al Derech Hatorah.
Although it never happened, nor will it ever happen, the lessons we learn are of great importance. This young man is not at fault. The reason he is rebellious is, as the Baal Hatoldot says: “Because the father was not attentive to HaShem, as well,” “Lo Shomea Bekol Aviv” (Shebashamayim, his Father in Heaven). Therefore, HaShem, in his great kindness and mercy, desires to save the many lives of people this son might murder in the future. Therefore, HaShem saves the young man from Gehenom while he is still innocent.
But perhaps the most important lesson derived from the rebellious son is that disobeying parents is a serious Aveira which could lead to other serious crimes, such as cursing and hitting his parents, and even murdering others.
A story is told about the Rebbe of Novardok who spent an unusual amount of time trying to correct a young man who went astray. His students were annoyed that their Rebbe’s valuable time went on deaf ears. The Rebbe explained that, from now on, each time this rebellious man eats Treifa, he will remember my words to him and will not completely enjoy the food. It is hoped that this will lead him to the right path.
This then is a wonderful lesson: Torah learning at a young age will remain with a person even if he strays from the Derech. But one who learns to feed his evil desires at a young age and is given no proper direction or discipline will most likely become a criminal. It is our responsibility to teach him otherwise.
Shabbat Shalom.
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