A MATTER OF GRATITUDE
A most elementary and rudimentary temperament to which every Jew must
strive- is the Midah (characteristic) of HaKoras HaTov- gratitude.
One need not be a Talmid Chahcam to understand how vile and
contemptible is the Midah of a Kofuy Tov- to be an ingrate who will
not respond with appreciation to one who has bestowed a kindness upon
him.
Within the framework of the Torah HaKedosha, there are innumerable
examples of HaKoras HaTov, from which we must learn to act in like
manner. Concerning Ya'akov Avinu, the Torah states, "Ya'akov arrived
intact at the city of Shechem which is in the land of Canaan, on his
arrival from Padan Aram- and he encamped before the city. And he
acquired a portion of field where he would pitch his tent, from the
children of Chamor the father of Shechem, for a hundred Kesita." (Beraishis
33:18- 19)
The Hebrew for 'he encamped' is 'Vayichan'- which like so many other
words in Lashon HaKodesh- has a double meaning. The Yalkut Mai'am
Lo'aiz (Beraishis pgs. 626- 627) translates this 'Vayichan' to mean
that Ya'akov graced the city of Shechem- as well as having encamped
there. How did he grace the city? Since Ya'akov was given permission
to purchase that particular field, he sent the people of Shechem
gifts, and had market stalls set up, which would offer merchandise to
the Shechemites at rock bottom prices. Even though his field came
with a price tag of one hundred Selayim, Ya'akov was nevertheless
grateful for the purchase opportunity, and wanted to acknowledge that
gratitude publicly. That is the Midah of HaKoras HaTov- a basic
component of Jewish character.
In the Sidra of Ki Saitzai, we are told, "…..You shall not abominate
a Mitzri (Egyptian), for you were a stranger in his land. Children
that are born to them (Mitzriyim) in the third generation, they may
enter into the congregation of HaShem." (Devarim 23:8- 9) In essence,
a Mitzri (male or female) who converts to Judaism may not marry a
Jew. Neither may the child of that Mitzri marry a Jew. However, the
grandchild of that original convert may marry a Jew, and we as Jews,
may not try to prevent this marriage.
In his commentary, Rashi explains this prohibition of not hating a
Mitzri with the following approach. "You shall not abominate the
Mitzri in any manner- even though they (Egyptians) cast their (the
Bnai Yisroel's) male born into the river. What is the reason for
this? They (Egyptians) granted you a residence in a time of
emergency." That is, while the world at that time was entrenched in
the first two years of the 'seven years of famine'- the Mitzriyim
(Egyptians), through the influence of Yosef who was second in command
to the Pharaoh, did grant Ya'akov and his children the territory in
Goshen- without a price tag.
Yet, when one accumulates the persecutions, evil decrees, and slavery
thrown upon the Bnai Yisroel by the Mitzriyim, this prohibition of
not hating them becomes a little more challenging to fully
comprehend. Let us say, for example, that we rented a living space
from a certain landlord. After our lease runs out, we decide to
relocate to an area which we think will be better for us. The
landlord however, has a completely different agenda. He keeps us by
force from moving out of our dwelling. As if this were not enough of
an outrage, the landlord causes us unmerciful harm day and night-
without respite. Now, would anyone in his right mind decide to show
such a landlord HaKoras HaTov for simply having granted us a roof
over our heads? And, if so, why indeed would the Torah prohibit us
from hating a Mitzri?
This very same query was posed by Rav Yerucham HaLevy Z"L of the
Yeshiva of Mir, in his text Da'as Chachma Umussar (first Chelek;
Mamar 27). Rav Yerucham's own words are, "The Mitzriyim received much
benefit from granting the Bnai Yisroel a residence. Additionally, the
Mitzriyim should have been grateful to Yosef for having saved them
from utter destruction (by foreseeing the years of famine). Also, the
Mitzriyim never compensated the Bnai Yisroel for their years of
slavery (see Sanhedrin 91a). Add to this the terrible decrees and
heavy bondage which turned the Bnai Yisroel's residence into a living
Gehennom. Yet, why, after all this, does the Torah command us not to
hate them, simply because they supplied us with a residence during
earlier hard times?"
Nevertheless, states Rav Yerucham, "As astonishing as the question
is, so too the Limud (moral lesson) that the Torah teaches here is
astonishing. For it is the obligation of every Jew to raise himself
to the lofty level of HaKoras HaTov- to the point where 'You shall
not abominate a Mitzri (Egyptian), for you were a stranger in his
land.' And shouldn't we say that such HaKoras HaTov is beyond our
understanding, the Torah comes along and instructs us, that,
nonetheless, we must develop our sense of HaKoras HaTov even to this
magnitude."
However, when it comes to other nations, the Torah instructs, "An
Amoni and a Moavi (only the males) may not come into the congregation
of HaShem- even unto the tenth generation may they not come forever."
(Devarim 23:4) That is, a male Amoni or Moavi who converts to
Judaism, may not marry a Jewess. Nor may any of his sons, grandsons,
etc. (even though they convert) ever marry a Jewess. This prohibition
lasts forever. And, why is this? "…..For they did not greet you with
bread and water on your way out of Mitzrayim (Egypt), and because
they contracted against you Bila'am Ben Be'Or from PeSor Aram
Naharayim to curse you." (Devarim 23:5)
Here, the Ramban explains, "It seems to me that the Torah pushes off
these two brothers Amon and Moav, who received great kindness from
Avraham Avinu. For in his Zechus (merit) the two daughters of Lot
(the mothers of Amon and Moav) and their father were saved from the
complete destruction of Sedom, and walked away alive from this
catastrophe. As a result, Amon and Moav were obliged to show HaKoras
HaTov to the offspring of Avraham. These nations, however, dealt
badly with Bnei Yisrael in two ways; They did not greet our ancestors
with bread and water, and they hired Bila'am to curse us."
From here, a most astonishing lesson is learned. The Mitzriyim, who
persecuted the Bnai Yisroel and enslaved them, may enter the
congregation of HaShem after the third generation. The males of Amon
and Moav however, who never persecuted or enslaved Bnai Yisroel, are
restricted from entering the congregation of HaShem forever (even
though they may have converted to Judaism), because they were not
grateful for the kindness bestowed upon their mothers by Avraham. The
reason for this is that those who are so guilty of ingratitude are
not worthy to become Jews. While a country which severely punished
the Bnai Yisroel, as did Mitzrayim, may have any third generation
descendent of its converts to Judaism marry other Jews. Amon and Moav,
on the other hand, whose males were devoid of basic Hakaras HaTov,
may never have its males marry a Jewess, despite their being
multi-generational descendents of converts to Judaism.
In his excoriation of Bnai Yisroel for their multitude of
transgressions, Yirmiyahu HaNavi stated, "How would I put thee (Bnai
Yisroel) among the sons? Surely as a wife treacherously departed from
her friend…." (Yirmiyahu 3:19- 20) On this Passuk, the Shemos Rabbah
(32:5) instructs, "When a harlot has a lover who bestows upon her
some expensive present, she displays it to her friends, boasting,
'See how my beloved honors me?' But you, the House of Yisroel, have
not acted thus. When I performed all these miracles and mighty deeds
for you, when the clouds of glory surrounded you, when the Manna
descended from Heaven, when the well-waters rose, and when the quail
abounded - you did not praise Me; nor were you at least as good as a
harlot who praiser her lover for the gifts bestowed upon her. For it
is stated, 'Neither did they say, where is HaShem Who brought us up
out of the land of Mitzrayim?' (Yirmiyahu 2:6) Therefore, I HaShem
will not go up into your midst, but will instead, 'Send a Malach
before you…..'" (Shemos 23:29)
And so, we see how essential the Midah of HaKoras HaTov is to the
true Torah character- and how high we must raise ourselves to
accomplish this Midah- even to the point of showing gratitude to a
nation that once tortured and enslaved us. May we merit Siyata
DiShmaya (divine assistance) in gaining this most basic Midah of
HaKoras HaTov, and may we all see the Geulah Shelaimah (complete
redemption) soon and speedily in our times.
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