"A Refuge from Sin"

 

Should we Forgive?

 

He is usually a considerate and loving husband but this time was different. During a heated argument with his wife he lost his temper and hurled vicious insults at her. He was in the grip of rage but never meant to be hurtful. He quickly stopped himself, apologized and begged for forgiveness. Should she have forgiven? It was only an accident. Inadvertent but Revealing. She may have been inclined to forgive, but she was not prepared to forget. Loving couples usually resolve their differences amicably. That her husband flew into a rage and lashed out at her was, to her, an indication that something was amiss. Angry outbursts do not usually occur in isolation and she wisely chose to turn the heated exchange into a learning opportunity. She was determined to understand the cause of his rage and why he had permitted himself to insult the woman he loves. They reserved some quiet time together, withdrew to a peaceful place, and sought refuge in each other's company. They also hired a professional counselor to help them navigate their turbulent waters. This quiet space was not a physical location; it was an emotional and cerebral space. Focused only on each other, to the exclusion of all outside distraction, they created a private place of refuge. Immersed in this serenity they rediscovered their mutual love, identified the weak points in their bond and, together, healed their relationship. The Inadvertent Killer. A similar scenario plays out in this week's Torah portion. A man is in the forest chopping wood completely oblivious to the approach of another. Suddenly the ax head pried itself loose from its handle and struck the approaching man a mortal blow. (1) This blow was clearly inadvertent. The man was unaware of his victim's presence and he surely didn't intend to lose control of his ax. Then again we must ask ourselves why he didn't ascertain that it was safe before he swung his ax? Why did he permit his wood chopping to endanger others? How could he be so selfishly engrossed? That he didn't notice is an indication of something amiss. Perhaps he is exceedingly immersed inside himself, which in turn, obscures his awareness of others. He needs to step back and examine his character, but to do this he must first free himself from the mundane entanglements and selfish pursuits that nurture self-centeredness. A Place of Refuge. This may explain why Torah law stipulates that he flee to one the cities of refuge established in the land of Israel. (2) He must reside in this city and atone for his sin for a period of time and then he is permitted to return home. (3) These cities were a refuge from sin. Torah mentors were dispatched to teach him Torah and to guide him through his introspection. (4) Most of the residents were from the utterly selfless and dedicated tribe of Levi. (5) Thus, surrounded by the righteous and counseled by the wise, he would work to reclaim his soul, replace his missing links of connection and rebuild his relationship with G-d. (6) A Time of Refuge. Just as there is a space of refuge within the heart and mind and a city of refuge in the holy land, there is also a month of refuge in the Jewish calendar. It is the month of Elul. (7) Throughout the year we must balance life's many commitments. We work to provide for our families, to become loving husbands and wives, loyal friends and well adjusted human beings. We must also work to fulfill our commitments to G-d. When the burden of commitment grows too heavy something often gives. It may be the spouse who feels unappreciated, the friend who feels neglected, or the children who feel we haven't provide for them. Unfortunately, we also neglect our commitments to G-d. We ruefully acknowledge that petty concerns have obstructed significant ones. The latest movie is less significant than a friend's party. Extra hours at work are less enriching than family time. Saturday golf games are poor substitutes for Synagogue attendance. Indeed, we require a time of refuge to escape the incessant daily demands, to reflect upon past mistakes and to draft new resolutions for the future. The month of Elul is the perfect time. During this month G-d makes himself available to every Jew and encourages us to repent. He counsels us, guides us and proverbially holds our hand. (8) Just as the city of refuge was a place that reformed the ego, reshaped the character and dispatched the Jew back into society so does the month of Elul. We come out at the end of the month refreshed in spirit and rejuvenated in character. Our time of refuge has enabled us to become the recipients of abundant blessing and to enjoy a happy, good and sweet new year. Footnotes 1. This law is applied when the ax pried itself loose from the handle and struck the victim or the wood chip flew off and struck the victim. If the killer lost control of the ax and struck the victim instead of the tree, it is not deemed inadvertent. Bab. Talmud Makos 7b. 2. Deutoronomy 19: 1-13. 3. Bab. Talmud Makos 2b. See also Tosafos Makos 9b (DH Midi)and Rashi's commentary to Genesis 9:5. (Shlomo Yitzchaki, Troyes 1040-1105 France) 4. Numbers 35:6. Maimonidies Hilchos Rotzeiach ch. 8:9. (Maimonides, R. Moshe ben Maimon (Egypt) 1135-1204) Sefer Hachinuch Mitzvah 521. (The anonymous author identifies himself only as "a Levite from Barcelona," was a student of the Rashba, Rabbi Shlomo ben Aderet in the thirteenth century) 5. Bab. Talmud Makos 10a. Maimonidies Hilchos Rotzeiach ch.5 1. Sefer Hachinuch Mitzvah 410. 6. See Tiferes Yonoasan on Exodus 12:13. R. Yonasan Eibescutz, 1690-1764 Prague) Sfas Emes Parshas Masei 5654. (R. Yehudah Aryeh Leib Alter of Gur 1847-1905)Kedushas Levi Likutim on Numbers 35:11. (R' Levi Yitzhak of Berdichev, 1740-1810) See also Tam Vadaas on Numbers 19:9 (R. Moshe Sterenbach, Jerusalem, Israel) 7. Shaar Hapsukim Exodus 21:13. See also Likutei Sichos Vol II p. 623. (R. Menachem M Schneerson Rebbe of Lubavitch 1902-1994) 8. Likutei Torah Re'eh p.32b. (R. Schneeur Zalman of Liadi, founder of Chassidus Chabad, 1745 - 1813) Man and Bread. Our Parsha declares that "man is the tree of the field." Our sages comment that the fruit of the tree is man's primary sustenance. Though our diet contains many foods that are entirely unrelated to the tree, the Torah insists that only "bread can fully satiate the heart of man (Psalm 104)." We do in fact eat all kinds of foods but hunger is never fully satisfied without bread, which grows from the ground, as does the tree. Four Elements. All of creation can be divided into four elements. The first is the inanimate, the mineral, that exhibits no outside indicators of life. The second is the vegetable that enjoys vertical motion (through growth) but is incapable of lateral movement. The third is the animal, which demonstrates its enormous life energy through both vertical and lateral movement. Man towers above all. Man demonstrates signs of life not only on the outside but also on the inside. No creature has comparable intellectual and communicative skills. This hierarchy raises a question. Why is man sustained by that which is lower than he is? Does logic not dictate that lower life forms be sustained by higher life forms? Conversely, does the higher life form not somehow compromise its purity by receiving life energy from a lower life form? Unity of Pilgrimage. The words "through one of your gates" are superfluous unless they teach a point otherwise unknown. According to our tradition, as recorded in Sifri, these words inform us that the entitlement applies only when "All Jews walk, into the Bet Hamikdash, through one gate i.e. during a week of pilgrimage." We now understand the power of the pilgrimage. When all Jews are present, furthermore when all Jews enter through a single gate, we become a family. A brother is welcome in his sibling's home, he feels a sense of belonging; he is happy to pitch in and help and feels comfortable with accepting his sibling's offerings. Shabbat Shalom!