Parshat Va'etchanan
13 Av 5764

July 31, 2004
Daf Yomi: Bechoros 49

Guest Author:
Rabbi Efrem Goldberg

Associate Member, YICR

 

Love seems to be a natural human emotion, not the result of a decision. It is, therefore, very perplexing that in this morning's sidra, in a paragraph that we are Biblically obligated to recite twice daily, G-d commands us to love Him: "V'ahavta es HaShem Elokecha - �and you should love Hashem your G-d, with all of your heart, all of your soul and all of your material goods."

All of the commentaries are disturbed by the same question, if love is an emotion, how can I be commanded to do it, and if love is a feeling, how do I fulfill this commandment?

The Ohr Ha'Chaim Ha'Kadosh, Rav Chaim Ben Atar explains as follows: Do you want to know what love is, do you want to know how to express love and how to fulfill G-d's commandment? Then keep on reading.

The Torah continues, "V'hayu ha'devarim ha'eleh asher anochi m'tzavcha hayom al l'vavecha� - �And you shall place these things that I command you today upon your heart."

You know what love is, says the Torah, it is when you put the other party's desires and needs upon your heart. It is when you seek to obey your spouse's requests, even when they come at personal sacrifice or compromise.

Love, explains the Ohr Ha'Chaim, is not about receiving satisfaction and fulfillment, it is about providing it. Love means loyalty, and it means commitment. We express love to G-d the same way we do to human beings, through action. Love may be an emotion that fills our heart, but it finds expression in the actions and behaviors that we do.

When I love someone I am willing to put them before myself, to put their priorities before mine. When I love someone, I don't question why, I seek to satisfy even if I don't understand.
If we are committed to fulfill the commandment to love HaShem, we must be committed to observe His Torah, even when a law may challenge our understanding, or may not be convenient or comfortable. Love requires as the Mishna in Avos says, "emor m'at v'aseh harbei. Do much, and speak little." Love is an easy word to say, it is a much more difficult thing to do.

Love of HaShem is not different. We express love to G-d not through the words we say, but the actions or inactions that we do.

There is another indispensable ingredient in love found in the same pasuk. HaShem commands us to love Him "b'chol l'vavcha, u'bchol nafshecha, u'vchol m'odecha - with all of our hearts, our souls and our material goods."

Rashi is disturbed by the order of this pasuk. The Torah implies that the lowest level is loving HaShem with our hearts, our emotional commitment. Beyond that is loving with our souls, a willingness to even give our lives and die al kiddush HaShem. But the greatest achievement of love is when we are willing to sacrifice our material goods and possessions for the sake of loving HaShem. This implies that money is the ultimate sacrifice for love.

This question leads Rashi to conclude that "yesh l'cha adom she'mamono chaviv alav mi�gufo - there are people whose money is more precious to them than their bodies or their lives." The individual Rashi describes is rare, so how does the hierarchy of the pasuk speak to us?

The Meshech Chochma provides a brilliant insight. Imagine a husband who is committed to a relationship with his wife, but only when he is at home. When he is on a business trip, or on a vacation with his friends, he acts as if he isn't even married; he doesn't even consider himself as having the status of being a married man.

Such a person is despicable, because marriage is not a casual relationship; it is a commitment that requires consistency and steadiness. Love in marriage is not defined by commitment only on important milestones or anniversaries. The status of marriage means constant and always.

Answers the Meshech Chochma, it is incredibly difficult to give our hearts and emotions to HaShem. It is even more challenging to be willing to give our lives for HaShem. However, these are perhaps one time events that require us to rise to the challenge. The most difficult achievement in our relationship with HaShem is the ability to sacrifice daily.

B'chol m'odecha stands for the consistent and constant compromises that make up our love for HaShem. It symbolizes the daily grind in being part of a committed relationship.
True love is not easy. Perhaps that is why G-d wants us to remind ourselves twice a day when we wake up and when we go to sleep that we are privileged to be in a loving relationship.

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