Matos
23 Tammuz 5768
July 26, 2008
Daf Yomi: Gitin 15

Guest Author:
Rabbi Boaz Tomsky
Member, Associate Young Israel Council of Rabbis

One of the most beautiful rituals is the Pidyon HaBen ceremony. The father holds his first born baby son, only a month old at the time, turns to the Kohain and says, “Zeh Beniy Bechorey” ─ this is my first born son. What is difficult to understand is the way in which the Kohain responds. He asks the father one question, “Maiy Bais Tefay,” what do you prefer; “Litan Li Bincha Bechorch,” do you want to give away your first born son, “Oh Bays Lifdosa Bechamesh Selayi,”  or would you prefer instead to redeem him for five Shkalim?  Is the Kohain actually giving the father an ultimatum, a choice between his infant son or some money?  What lesson are we to learn from this? I believe the answer to this question can be found in this week’s Parsha.

The Bnai Yisrael were on the verge of entering into the land of Canaan. Two of the Shvatim, Reuven and Gad, approached Moshe Rabbeinu with a special request. Instead of settling in the Land of Israel with the other tribes, they wished to remain in Gilad, on the east of the Jordan River. What is most noteworthy is their choice of words, “pens for the flock shall we build here for our livestock and cities for our small children.”

They indicated that they would first tend to the needs of their possessions and only afterwards, to the needs of their children. Moshe Rabbeinu listened intently to every single word that was uttered. Moshe accepted their proposal on the condition that they assist the rest of the Jewish people in the conquest of Eretz Yisrael.

Moshe gives forth a message from which we should all learn. Moshe responded:  “Build for yourself cities for your small children and then pens for your flock.” Rashi makes the observation that the tribes of Reuven and Gad cared more about their money than they cared about their own children.

By saying that they would provide for their livestock first and only afterwards care for their families’ needs, Reuven and Gad expressed more concern for their possessions than for their families. Upon hearing these words, Moshe rebuked them and said they had their priorities in life mixed up. “Asu Haikar Iker VhaTafel Tafel” ─ identify the most important things in life and put them first, and those of lesser importance, put second.

Certainly the tribes of Reuven and Gad valued their children and families more than they did their sheep and oxen. When asked, each would most likely say that their families are the most important things in their lives. But what Moshe is teaching us is that our feelings are not as important as is demonstrating, through our actions, what we know is truly important. Therefore, Moshe instructs Reuven and Gad to build cities for their families first, and only afterwards, for their animals. Identify what is clearly most important ─ family.

Similarly, each day we recite in the Shema that we must love HaShem with all our heart, all our soul, and all our money. The Gemara is clearly stating that we must love HaShem with our entire being. If we are already going to love HaShem with our entire nefesh ─ our very lives ─ why is it necessary to say that we must serve HaShem “Bechol Meodecha,” with the few dollars in our pockets?

The Talmud (Berachot 61B) explains that people serve HaShem in different ways. When given the choice between their lives and their money, some individuals consider their physical health to be more important than their worldly possessions. To those people, the Torah says to “serve HaShem with your entire soul.” There are, however, other kinds of people in this world that consider their personal possessions to be more important than their very lives. To those people, the Torah says to serve HaShem “Bechol Meodecha,” even with all of your money. The problem with this explanation is, in actuality, who would ever admit that their money is more important than their lives?  A person might have all the money in the world, but without health, what good is money?

To get a better understanding of these questions, we could certainly use as an example the year 1929, the start of the Great Depression. When the stock market crashed, many people became destitute; hundreds felt they could not bear to continue living. How could people have placed so much value on money and worldly possessions that they were compelled to sacrifice their very lives? If any of us are ever asked, “what is more important, your money or your life?” how would we respond?  We all claim to have our priorities in the right order; but for many of us, this is just lip service. We must, occasionally, take a moment to step back and analyze our priorities.

Many of us work long hours under stressful conditions. Consequently, this results in our families becoming secondary while our health suffers. We all claim to know the right answer to what is most important, but do our actions actually reflect what is truly important? Are we really thinking about our health, our families and our children? Are we really prioritizing, or are we just saying we are?

This is the message the Kohain is conveying at the Pidyon HaBen. “Maiy Bais Tefay” [what do you prefer] isn’t an ultimatum. Certainly, we must give the Kohain the five Shkalim. But what the Kohain is asking this new parent to do is to stop for a moment and think about what kind of father he will choose to be. “Maiy Bais Tefay?” Certainly this new father knows the right answer, but words are not enough. Instead, he must continuously make the effort to demonstrate to his child that, indeed, his son comes first. With each passing day, his actions will show that his child is either a priority, or that he is put second. “Asu Haikar Iker, VhaTafel Tafel.” May we internalize this Torah message and reevaluate and reassess our lives, not only to say that our family is a priority, but to actually make them a priority.

Shabbat Shalom!

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