Parshat Shelach describes the sin of the m'raglim (spies) which can be considered the straw that broke the camel's back. �Vayenasu osee zeh eser pe'amim� - �and they tested Me these ten times�, HaShem said. How is it that our greatest generation, who witnessed the miracles performed in Egypt and received the Torah at Mount Sinai, ultimately failed and were unable to enter the Land of Israel?

�We cannot go up against the inhabitants of the land of Canaan, ki chazak hu meemenu, for they are too strong for us.� Rashi, quoting the Talmud in Sotah, explains that the spies told the Jews that the inhabitants of Canaan were too powerful (even for HaShem, chas v'shalom,) to be driven out to allow us to settle the land. HaShem responded, �ad ana lo ya'aeeinu lee� - �for how long shall they (the Jews) not have confidence in Me?� Why didn't the Jews have confidence in HaShem's ability to lead them into the Land of Israel?

We recite Az Yashir at shacharit every morning. Prior to Az Yashir we say �vaya'ameenu baShem�, and they, the Jews, believed in HaShem and in Moshe His servant. The Jews had just experienced the splitting of the sea. HaShem provided them with a dry riverbed to walk on, twelve partitions - one for each tribe, fresh fruit to satisfy their hunger, and fresh water to satisfy their thirst. By asking the Jews to borrow clothing and vessels from the Egyptians, HaShem lured the Egyptians into chasing the Jews into the sea, and ultimately drowned the Egyptians so that each Jew witnessed the punishment of his former tormentor. It is after this experience that the Torah comments �vaya'ameenu baShem� - and the Jews believed in HaShem and in Moshe, His servant. Did the Jews not believe in HaShem as soon as Moshe told them he is here to redeem them? The Torah writes �vaya'amayn ha'am� - the nation believed. What new dimension of belief was acquired after kriyas yam suf?

The Chovos HaLevovos writes that trust in HaShem includes two parts. First, one must believe that HaShem has the ability to do as He chooses, unrestricted by any person or force. Second, and perhaps more difficult, one must believe that HaShem is interested in me, even if, based on my behavior, I am not worthy of HaShem's kindness.

Rabbi Tzadok HaCohen suggests that the acceptance of HaShem's unlimited ability was immediate, �vaya'amayn ha'am�, the nation believed that HaShem has the ability and would redeem them from Egypt. But the redemption from Egypt itself was not clearly indicative of HaShem's desire for the Jew even when he is not worthy. The Egyptians unfairly enslaved the Jews. HaShem, the G-d of justice, therefore pressured the Egyptians to release them. The Jews could have reasoned that perhaps HaShem would have done the same for another nation as well. The miracles performed at the Yam Suf clearly demonstrated His love and desire for His people. At the point that the Jews already left Egypt, why did HaShem cause Pharoh to chase after the Jews? Why did HaShem perform hundreds of miracles by the sea? It was only to demonstrate His love and desire for His people. The Midrash tells us that the angels complained to HaShem, "why do You wish to drown the Egyptians and save the Jews? The Jews also worship idols!" Indeed, the Pesel Micah, Micah's idol, crossed the Yam Suf with the Jews. The answer: HaShem loves His people even if they are not fully worthy of His love.

This is why the first day of Pesach and the seventh day of Pesach are individual holidays. The first day represents acquiring the belief that HaShem is in complete control of nature, as evidenced by the ten plagues and the release of the Jews from Egypt. The seventh day represents acquiring the feeling and belief that HaShem desires us as His people and wishes to have a relationship with us, even if we are not worthy of His kindness.

The Torah writes "He (Avraham Avinu) believed in HaShem and he considered it for him tzedaka." The Vilna Gaon explains, Avraham Avinu was complete in his belief in HaShem because he considered all that HaShem gave him as tzedaka. Avraham Avinu felt totally unworthy of HaShem's kindness but acknowledged that, nonetheless, it was HaShem's wish to be kind to him. This is the tradition of our relationship with and trust in HaShem: we can count on Him at all times, under any circumstance, and certainly when He explicitly says He will do something.

The Midrash explains that the twelve spies were men of great stature, chosen personally by HaShem, Moshe, and the Jews. Unfortunately, they transformed themselves by saying lashon hara - slander, about the land of Israel. Moshe, in Parshat Ha'azenu, refers to them as �banim lo aymun bam� - sons who have no trust.

Rav Tzadok HaCohen suggests that the ten spies� lack of trust was not in HaShem's ability, but lack of trust in their own, and the entire nation�s worthiness. Ten of the twelve spies, with the exclusion of Yehoshua and Calev, felt that they were personally unworthy of HaShem's kindness in conquering the Land of Israel. True, HaShem explicitly promised that He would drive out the inhabitants of the land, but in their opinion, it was contingent on their being of sufficient spiritual stature.

�Ki Chazak hu meemenu�, does not mean that they doubted HaShem's ability to conquer the land of Israel, rather they doubted His ability to conquer the land for them, because they felt unworthy. They reasoned, that if they, men of stature, are not worthy, certainly the rest of the nation could not be worthy of receiving the Land of Israel.

When describing their tour, the spies mentioned that they had seen the giants "and we were in our eyes like grasshoppers, and so were we in their eyes." Rashi comments that they overheard the giants saying that there are ants in the vineyard who have the appearance of humans. The comment of the ten spies was based on their own low esteem; they considered themselves like grasshoppers, and only then did they hear the giants refer to them as such. This was reflective of their low self-esteem, both toward HaShem and toward the inhabitants of the Land of Cana'an. 
Moshe referred to the spies as "sons who have no trust", men who may believe that HaShem is Al-Mighty, but do not believe that HaShem will perform miracles for them. These were men who lost the lesson learned at the Yam Suf, and the tradition of Avraham Avinu. Indeed, this is precisely the response of Calev and Yehoshua in their attempt to counterbalance the negative report of their fellow spies: �Im chafetz banu HaShem�, if HaShem desires us He will bring us into this land. We may trust in HaShem to lead us into the land even if we are unworthy, because HaShem wants us and desires to give us the land. Ultimately the nation failed. They felt that they were unworthy of HaShem's kindness, and caused HaShem to withhold His kindness from them. It was only the next generation who would enter the land.

Perhaps this is why we say each morning �vaya'aminu baShem� - and they believed in HaShem and in Moshe, His servant. We must remember that poor self-esteem and a feeling of unworthiness has no place in a Jew's relationship with HaShem. HaShem desires each and every Jew in all circumstances. It is up to us to have this trust in Him in order to merit His kindness and salvation.
 

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