Parshat VaYishlach
16 Kislev 5762
December 1, 2001
Daf Yomi: Baba Metzia 9

Guest Rabbi:
Rabbi Herschel Kurzrock
Young Israel of Kensington, NY

Yaakov's purpose in sending messengers to his brother Esav was to inform him that he is on his way to meet him and is seeking to effectuate a reconciliation between them. As Rashi explains the expression of Yaakov "...to find favor in your eyes" (32;6) as "I (Yaakov) am at peace with you and seek your affection." Despite the fact that Yaakov was frightened by the messenger's report that Esav was on his way to him with a large force of 400 men and Yaakov felt that he and his family were in grave danger, he persisted in trying to mollify Esav by sending a large gift through various servants, preceding his planned encounter with Esav. Yaakov ordered each servant leading a part of the gift for Esav to express his master Yaakov's subservience to Esav and his desire to honor him with a large gift. Yaakov even offered Esav a choice of whatever he wanted to take from his possessions (Ramban 32;6).

Although Yaakov fervently prayed to the Al-Mighty to be saved from the hands of Esav, as per HaShem's promise to him, and also prepared for a war with him as a last resort (Rashi 32;9), his main objective was to seek peace and reconciliation with Esav in a natural manner. In fact, according to the midrash (Breishit Raba 75;11) the Al-Mighty was angry with Yaakov for humbling himself to the extreme before Esav by calling him "adoni" - my master - eight times. He told him that in retribution for demeaning himself before Esav, as his master, Esav will merit royalty and eight kings will reign from Esav's children before Yaakov's progeny will develop to a nation of kings (also see Ba'al Haturim 36;31). Yet it seems that Yaakov's fear and overreaction to the possible threat from Esav was really due to spiritual reasons. Yaakov was apprehensive due to the great zchuyot, merits, that Esav possessed, because he lived in Eretz Yisrael and honored his parents all the years that Yaakov was living with Lavan and his family. As the midrash states (Breishit Raba 76;2), Yaakov's fear was that these two zchuyot might outweigh all Yaakov's zchuyot.

It is interesting to note here that regardless of the fact that Esav didn't really perform these two mitzvot for the sake of Heaven (Rashi 5;27) honestly and sincerely, his zchut was so great that Yaakov feared him, attesting to the outstanding significance of these two mitzvot. In this context, it is worth mentioning that the Gaon from Ostrovtza (Reb Mayer Yechiel, z'l) once stated, "how great is the mitzva of settling and living in Eretz Yisrael for this was the first mitzva and command from HaShem to a Jew - Abraham; �Leave your land and go to the land that I will show you [meaning Eretz Yisrael] (Breishit 12;1).'"

As we mentioned above, regardless of Yaakov's fear and mistrust of Esav, he made every effort to attain a reconciliation with Esav by humbling himself and offering generous material gifts. Yaakov went through the motions of showing submissiveness and obeisance to Esav, in various ways and at different times, until meeting with him. When sending messengers, he used the expression "to find favor in your eyes" (32;6). The servants bringing the gifts to Esav constantly referred to Esav as "my master" in Yaakov's name (32;19-20). Upon finally coming face to face with Esav, Yaakov answers a question by Esav again using the expression "to find favor in my master's eyes" (33;8). And the ultimate act of subjection on the part of Yaakov to Esav, as well as an expression of inordinate praise to him, is found when Yaakov beseeches Esav to accept the gift and remarks again, "if I found favor in your eyes" and utters the excessive praise of, "seeing your face is as if I am seeing an angel" (Rashi, 33;10).

Commentaries struggle to understand this expression of Yaakov and most interpret it as referring to "sar shel Esav" - the angel representing Esav in heaven with whom Yaakov fought on the way to Esav (Midrash Breishit Raba 76;3, Ba'al HaTurim 33;11).

And Yaakov succeeds: Esav accepts the gift and reconciles with Yaakov and even forgives him for his trickery in receiving the blessings from Yitzchak that were meant for Esav (Midrash Breishit Raba 78;11).

After all the above introduction, it is very difficult to understand Yaakov's answer to Esav when Esav first offers, in good faith, to travel with Yaakov and his group, at Yaakov's pace of travel (Rashi 38;12). Upon Yaakov's hesitation, Esav offers, at least, to have a group of his people travel with Yaakov to help him. Yaakov answered Esav and refused his gesture with the very same words he used all along to curry favor with Esav! Yaakov says, "Why should I find favor in the eyes of my Master" (33;15).

Yaakov's whole approach to the situation was to find favor in the eyes of Esav. To act humble, submissive and to seek Esav's friendship was his goal. His expression now could possibly rekindle Esav's ire and cause a rift between them again. Why say these words at this time?

It seems that Yaakov's actions and words were really consistent with his religious principles and convictions. True, he was willing to go above and beyond in order to win over Esav and make peace with him. But, only if it meant humbling himself before Esav, offering material gifts to pacify him and giving him extravagant praise and honor; because, honors and material wealth were not important to Yaakov. However, when Esav offered to travel together, or to have a group of his people remain together with Yaakov, this he outright refused with the very same expression "Why find favor in your eyes": Implying that under no circumstances would he agree to become one group with Esav, and thus expose his family to the irreligious and immoral type of living on the part of Esav and his people. The type of people in Esav's band would have a detrimental spiritual influence on Yaakov's family. This chance Yaakov would not take even if it meant to lose favor in the eyes of Esav. He was willing to have a friendly encounter giving gifts and act subservient to Esav, but not to merge as one at any cost.

Ma'asei avot siman libanim (Midrash Tanchuma Lech Lecha 9) - "Deeds and actions of the patriarchs are to be seen as a sign and omen to their progeny." This teaching stresses our sacred duty to emulate the avot in their way of life of serving HaShem by strictly adhering to their religious principles and convictions at all times. As our Sages tell us in Pirkei Avot 1-7 "Further yourself from a bad neighbor and don't consort with evil people." Yaakov, our forefather, practiced this and would not forgo or even compromise on his religious principles.

Yaakov's answer to Esav was also that, he will ultimately meet up with him - "avoh el adoni seira" I will reach my master in Seir. The Ba�al HaTurim (33-14) beautifully says that in these words was a sign and message to Esav. The last letters from the Hebrew words of "avoh el adoni seira" form the word Eliya (the prophet). This alludes to the day when Eliyahu will come and then we will finally meet for a day of judgement. Thus Esav went with his people on his way to Seir and Yaakov traveled with his group separately to Succot. The final verse states "And Yaakov arrived �shalaim - whole' to the city of Shchem." The midrash states whole in body, material wealth and with his Torah way of life intact (Breishit Raba 78). This was only due to his willingness to remain steadfast and resolute in upholding principle and convictions at all costs. "Ma�asei avot siman libanim" is the message.