Parshas Vayishlach
14 Kislev 5768
November 24, 2007

Daf Yomi: Kesuvos 84

Guest Author:
Rabbi Yonah Gross
Young Israel of Phoenix, Arizona

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

The big showdown is coming. Jacob has been running from Esau for years. It is finally time to meet and settle things for good.

 

The Torah tells the story from the vantage point of Jacob’s camp. We are granted a backstage pass to see Jacob’s threefold preparations for the showdown. Jacob does everything he can to be as ready as possible. He makes strategic military defense plans, prepares gifts to present to Esau to offset any residual anger, and he prays to G-d that he and his family should be rescued from their predicament.

 

But then comes the big letdown. Jacob finally meets Esau and everything seems fine again. Esau kisses Jacob, they bicker about whether Esau should accept Jacob’s presents and then everyone goes on their way.

 

If I were Jacob I’d feel gypped. I had just wasted a lot of time and energy on a project and it was all for naught! Was Jacob wrong in concentrating so heavily on the meeting with Esau?

 

Additionally, why did he not just try to avoid the confrontation? Our Sages (Bereishit Rabba 75:3) actually criticize Jacob for inviting an altercation with Esau when he could have traveled back to Israel using a different route and totally avoided the conflict.

However, perhaps we are losing sight of what Jacob’s real challenge was. If we assume that the challenge had been for Jacob to figure out how to get past Esau, then it is legitimate to criticize him for searching for a conflict that was unnecessary. It would then be a letdown when that fight ends up being insignificant.

 

But there is another part to the story. Jacob spent the entire night before this scheduled meeting wrestling with an angel.  With the arrival of morning, when it became apparent that Jacob would win, the angel changed Jacob’s name to Israel which, the Torah tells us, is because “you (Jacob) have striven (sarita) with the Divine and with man and have overcome.”

 

It seems that the victorious renaming ceremony, where Jacob’s name was changed to Israel, should have taken place following the meeting with Esau. It should not have been when Jacob was out at night, alone, the night before he met Esau, because he had not yet accomplished anything at that point. Furthermore, why was Jacob’s new name, and subsequently the name of our nation, named for ‘striving?’ We should be named after the second half of that verse ‘to overcome.’

 

The question can be resolved with an understanding that this story as well as the story of our lives is not necessarily about our accomplishments but rather about effort. Although headlines and accolades are bestowed upon the person with the highest level of accomplishments, our gut tells us that it is the process that defines greatness. It may be hard to define or quantify, but it is surely what matters most to the ultimate unquantifiable one.

 

For this reason, it is not a letdown when Yaakov doesn’t have to put his preparation to use against Esau. His preparation was already put to good use because his effort is what really counts. Now it also becomes clear why the Jewish people are named Yisrael after their striving, and not after their accomplishments. Because that is really what is asked of us - that we strive, we try to do the best that we can under whatever circumstances we are placed in. Accomplishments are useful as a measuring stick to see how successful we are in our striving but it is our process of action that we should really examine.

This understanding helps us comprehend another difficult passage in the Midrash (BR 77:1) where Jacob is compared to G-d himself: “Just as it is written of G-d ‘and the Lord alone shall be exalted’ (Isaiah 2:11) so of Jacob it says ‘and Jacob remained alone’ (32:25).” Why are we highlighting loneliness as the connection between Jacob and the Almighty? Is Loneliness a positive virtue? 

 

The Midrash does not say that Jacob was lonely, only that he was alone. He was unique.

 

Yes, it is good to be alone every once in a while. Being alone gives us the opportunity to reflect and analyze our own individual lives and not be forced to compare ourselves to others. We can analyze the effort and the process that is going on within ourselves without the pressure of making sure there are accomplishments to show to everyone else, because accomplishments are really always a comparison to someone else and my job is to be the best I can be.

 

Jacob was alone on that dark night with himself right where he was supposed to be.

 

Shabbat Shalom.

 

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