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THE WEEKLY SIDRA- CHAYEI SARAH
Rabbi Moshe Greebel
Becoming related through marriage to a very prominent family, has always been something to which many have aspired. Nevertheless, the status of having preeminent in-laws, does at times, have its own hidden liabilities, of which this week’s Sidra speaks.
The story is told of a certain Shadchan (matchmaker) who once went to see a very poor man. “I want to arrange a marriage for your son!” announced the Shadchan.
“Well, to tell you the truth,” replied the poor man, “I never interfere in my son’s life!”
“But, the girl is Baron Rothschild’s own daughter!” proudly stated the Shadchan.
“Baron Rothschild’s own daughter?” queried the poor man. “Well, in that case….”
Next approaching Baron Rothschild himself, our Shadchan stated, “I have the perfect husband for your daughter!”
“But,” replied the Baron, “she is too young to be married!”
“But, this young man,” retorted the Shadchan, “is already the vice president of the World Bank!”
“Already the vice president of the World Bank?” posed Rothschild. “Well, in that case…..”
Now approaching the head of the World Bank, the Shadchan announced, “I have the perfect vice president for your bank!”
“But, I have more vice presidents than I need!” argued the bank head.
“That may be true,” stated the Shadchan, “but, the young man I have in mind is the son-in-law of Baron Rothschild!”
“The son-in-law of Baron Rothschild?” responded the vice president. “Well, in that case…..”
In this week’s Sidra, Avraham Avinu ordered his servant Eliezer to procure a wife for Yitzchak:
“But, you shall go to my country, and to my family, and take a wife for my son Yitzchak.” (B’raishis 24:4)
Eliezer, having traveled to Aram Naharayim, and being shown by HaShem that Rivka, the daughter of B’suel, was the proper wife for Yitzchak, stated the following at the table of B’suel:
“And my master made me swear, saying, ‘You shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I live!’” (ibid. 24:37)
One would certainly be justified in thinking that an accomplished servant, such as Eliezer, would be very precise in the quoting of his master, when addressing others. Yet, Avraham the master stated, “And take a wife for my son Yitzchak.” While Eliezer’s quoting Avraham at the table of B’suel was, “You shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites.” Basically, in Avraham’s statement, his son is specified as Yitzchak, while in the quote of Eliezer, it is not.
To reconcile this discrepancy in the speaking styles of the two men, Rav Yosef Ber Soloveitchik (1903-1993) of blessed memory, gave us the following Mashal, or, parable.
There was once a very wealthy Jewish landowner, who found that his daughter had grown to a marriageable age. Now, being somewhat of a braggart, this landowner wanted nothing more at this time, than to have his daughter marry into a very prominent and scholarly Rabbinical family. He dreamed of having renowned and prestigious M’chutanim (in-laws), of whom he could boast to his neighbors. And so, the landowner met with a certain Shadchan.
“Now then,” began the Shadchan, “what type of young man would your daughter prefer?”
“Oh,” replied the landowner, “she must only be married into the most well-known and outstanding of Rabbinical families! Nothing less will do!”
“I see,” responded the Shadchan. “But, are you really prepared to support a son-in-law who will sit in the Bais HaMidrash (study hall of the Yeshiva) all day, without seeking work of his own?” further inquired the Shadchan.
“No, no!” soundly answered the landowner. “I don’t want a son-in-law whom I’ll have to support! Neither do I wish my daughter, who has been raised in a very wealthy home, to live the impoverished life of a Rebbetzin! As a matter of fact, my daughter herself does not wish to be a Rebbetzin!”
“Then, why are you seeking such a match for your daughter?” posed the Shadchan.
“Oh,” replied the landowner, “While I’m not really interested in such a scholarly son-in-law for my daughter, I do wish to be related to prominent M’chutanim!”
The same applies here, taught Rav Yosef Ber. After HaShem pointed out to Eliezer that Rivka was the proper wife for Yitzchak, Eliezer would be very careful to make certain that the Shidduch (match) should be desired by the family of B’suel as well.
Yet, when Eliezer came to the table of B’suel, he saw immediately that his host and his host’s son Lavan, were wicked people, who would certainly be interested in marrying into the prominent family of Avraham Avinu, so that they could boast of themselves. Yet, Eliezer also knew that B’suel would not care at all about his new son-in-law Yitzchak, who spent his days in the Bais HaMidrash such as it was, and, might even be inclined to break the Shidduch over him.
That is why, instructed Rav Yosef Ber, Eliezer only referred to the renown family of his master Avraham, a very prominent M’chutan, and not to Yitzchak by name, when he addressed B’suel and Lavan.
May we soon see the G’ulah Sh’laimah in its complete resplendency- speedily, and in our times. Good Shabbos. |
