Parshat Chayei Sarah
25 Cheshvan 5753
Saturday, November 21, 1992

Chaim S. Kaminetzky, National President
Gerald L. Kaufman, Chairman of the Board
Rabbi Ephraim H. Sturm
Executive Vice President on Sabbatical
Rabbi Pesach Lerner
Acting Executive Vice President

Sponsored by UMB Bank and Trust Company -- America's only Shomer Shabbat Bank

Guest Rabbi:
Rabbi Michael Whitman
Young Israel of New Haven, Connecticut

The last major accomplishment in the life of Avraham Aveinu is finding a wife for Yitzchok. But, while we can understand and perhaps relate to Avraham's concern and desire for input into this choice, the specific guidance he gives is, on the surface, hard for us to comprehend. He commands his faithful servant, Eliezer: (Bereishis 24:3,4)
"Do not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanim, among whom I dwell. Rather, go to my birthplace and my family to select a wife for my son, Yitzchok." And Avraham requires Eliezer to swear that he will heed this command.

But why is Avraham so set against a local Shidduch for Yitzchok? Why was everyone from Canaan automatically disqualified? Couldn't there have been someone who met Avraham's standards? In fact, according to the Medrash that Avraham and Sarah engaged in developing righteous converts, there must have been numerous "frum" girls from which to choose for Yitzchok.

And what was available back in Aram, Avraham's birthplace? Avraham's family were idolaters! Rivkah was raised in a home suffused with idol worship. In what way was this preferable to a person raised as an observant Jew in Canaan?

Rabbi Samson Raphael Hirsch provides us with a fundamental concept with which to answer this difficulty. There may have been observant women in Canaan; however, the nature of those people was base, corrupt. They had terrible Middos, as the Torah repeatedly records. On the other hand, Avraham's family in Aram, while they were idolaters, had excellent Middos of kindness, hospitality and compassion- like Avraham and Sarah. Idolatry is a sin, a terrible sin, that results from a mistake. A person mistakenly thinks, "This is how I should worship". If you enlighten that person and explain the nature of their mistake, it is possible to correct it so the person can forsake the sin of idolatry. But a fault in Middos is much deeper. The Middos of a person expresses their very essence. If a person's Middos are faulty, it is much more difficult to change. Avraham had to choose between an observant person with bad Middos (who would learn good Middos) and a non-observant person with good Middos (who would learn observance)- and he insisted on choosing for Yitzchok the latter. Eliezer's experience certainly showed the wisdom of Avraham's advice because Rivkah displayed the sterling Middos of her family, while she developed a uniquely high level of Yir'as Shomayim and Dikduk B'Mitzvos.

This concept can help us understand one of the central difficulties in the Torah's narrative of B'nai Yisroel's years in the desert. Two major failings take place during these forty years. Two sins stand above all the others in their seriousness: the Eigal, the golden calf, and the Meraglim, the spies.

Almost immediately after hearing HaShem speak at Har Sinai, B'nai Yisroel appear to ignore one of the Aseres HaDibros they just heard, and they build a calf of gold to worship. And yet, in spite of the seriousness of their sin (and its subsequent impact on Jewish history) HaShem finally forgives them. In fact, this forgiveness culminates in Yom Kippur and the
building of the Mishkan which set the pattern for Teshuvah and Kapporah throughout our history.

But before entering the Land of Israel, B'nai Yisroel sends spies to report on the conditions of the land, and the spies bring back a bad report. HaShem is furious. And He swears that that generation will never enter the Land of Israel. And they will have no chance to repent. But was the sin that serious? Let them go in and see they were wrong. As soon as they enter the Land of Israel they will see how wonderful it is. Why is this sin treated so harshly, especially when compared with the "lenient" treatment after the Eigal- which appears, prima facie, to be so much more serious?

Here too, Hirsch's concept is enlightening. The sin of the Eigal, which in itself is hard to understand, was a mistake. B'nai Yisroel mistakenly thought this was how they should serve HaShem. It was a terrible mistake. But they could learn their lesson and survive to enter the Land of Israel. On the other hand, the sin of the Meraglim was a lapse in Middos. It was a lack of gratitude to HaShem for the gift of the Land of Israel and a lack of trust in His protection. If B'nai Yisroel had faulty Middos, they had a fault in their essence and were not worthy to enter the Land of Israel. Only the next generation, who overcame the shortcoming of their parents, merited entering the Land of Israel.

Both good Middos and careful observance are needed for a religious personality. But Middos are far more difficult to change. Middos, therefore, deserve more of our attention in improving ourselves and in evaluating others. A story is told about Rabbi Mordechai Gifter, Shlita, Rosh HaYeshiva of the Telshe Yeshiva, who was counseling a young Kollel couple. The husband, a fine Talmid Chachom, said that it was beneath his dignity to take out the garbage. Rav Gifter agree, saying, "If that is how you feel, then you should not take out the garbage." A couple of days later, the couple was surprised to find Rav Gifter at their door. "I was just passing by," he said, "and I thought that since your husband does not take out the garbage, perhaps I could do it."

*Our Winter Senior League Trips to the Homowack in upstate New York are planned for Shabbos Chanukah- December 25th thru December 28th
January 24-January 28, 1993

For more information and to make a reservation, please contact Chana Chechik at the National Council of Young Israel, 3 West 16th Street, New York, New York 10011, telephone number (212)929-1525/1(800)727-8567.

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