Parshat Lech-Lecha

Rabbi Nisson Dov Miller

Associate Member, Sharon, Massachusetts

13 Cheshvan 5761

November 11, 2000

Daf Yomi: Nazir 25

A couple of years ago, I was observing two brothers sitting down to partake in a snack of kosher Dunkin Donuts.  As far as I knew, they were two well behaved young boys, ages five and seven, who had looked forward to this treat with great anticipation.  When they opened the box, each of them reached into the box and took out a donut.  As he readied for a brocha, the five year old let loose with an unbridled smile.  On the other side of the table, however, his older brother looked a bit disappointed.  When I looked down, I saw the reason  for that forlorn look.  The donut that he took, the last donut in the box, was not whole.  Only  about three quarters of it remained.  The two brothers stared at each other. They both pondered the question at hand – who should get the whole donut? After a few seconds, the five year old said to his brother,  “I think I should have the whole donut and you should have the other one.”  His brother agreed. 

That was almost the end of the story. 

Before I walked away, I approached the five-year old and asked him why he thought he should have the whole donut and not his brother.

The five-year old responded cheerfully, without a trace of regret or ambivalence

in his voice,  “Since I am usually m’vater (acquiesce) he doesn’t usually have the chance,  so this time I wanted to give him a chance to be m’vater”. 

To say the least, I was taken aback by the sophistication that the five year old displayed.  In particular, what really stood out in my mind was his depth of understanding.  He understood not just the concept, but he also understood the value of being m’vater.  He understood the value of being m’vater to such an extent that he wanted his brother to have the same golden opportunity.

If only Hagar, one of the main figures in our parsha, had understood the value of being m’vater, of acquiescing, her legacy to the world, Yishmael, might have been a light unto all nations and not a thorn in their side.

In the beginning of chapter sixteen, we read of the plight of Sarai. “And Sarai, the wife of Avraham, had borne him no children.”

We have a tradition that Sarai actually was physically unable to have children.  However, the verse would seem to infer that while Sarai, “the wife of Avraham,” was not able to have children with Avraham, she could have them with someone else. This implication cannot possibly be true. If so, what is the proper implication of the phrase,  “(she) had borne him no children”?

There is at least one other difficulty that needs to be addressed.

As a solution to the problem, Sarai offers her maidservant, Hagar, to Avraham and says,  “Perhaps  I will be built through her.” Subsequently, Avraham heeds Sarai’s suggestion.

Shouldn’t Sarai have said, “Perhaps you will be built through her”?  Wasn’t Sarai offering Hagar her maidservant as a solution to the problem at hand – Avraham, the potential father of a great nation, couldn’t have offspring with his wife?  Perhaps, he could fulfill his role with Hagar’s assistance and be built through her, through Hagar.

My Rosh HaYeshiva, Rabbi Shmuel Yaakov Weinberg, z”tl, of Yeshivas Ner Yisroel of Baltimore, Maryland, explained the verses as follows.

Avraham had a potential- a potential to be the father of the am hanivchar, the chosen people.  Of course, for this potential to be fulfilled he needed to have a child to carry out avodas HaShem, the service of G-d, as Avraham perceived it.  However, part of the prerequisite for passing on this mantle of the spiritual leadership of the world was to  have a child that was reared properly – with the proper guidance that only a Sarai could provide.

Sarai understood this reality.  She wanted to have a child – not solely for herself.  She wanted to have a child who could continue the avodas HaShem that her husband had started and had spread with her help.  She knew, though, that she couldn’t bear a child.  So she offered Hagar to Avraham as a “surrogate” mother.  Hagar would carry the baby to term. Then all responsibility for the chinuch, education, of the child would pass to Sarai and Avraham.  Through this chinuch from Avraham and Sarai the child would follow in his father’s footsteps.  “Perhaps I will be built through her”,  I will raise Avraham’s progeny with the proper chinuch required to be a patriarch of the chosen people.

Hagar, though, had another idea.  She thought that she was capable of raising the child properly.  She thought that the chinuch that she would offer her son would be the backbone of Avraham’s legacy.  When Sarai saw what was happening she tried to prevail on Hagar  - to realize her role in the great scheme of the world – how Hagar had come from Pharaoh’s palace in order to cleave to Avraham – to remember the agreement that led her to becoming Avraham’s wife.  When Hagar refused to be m’vater, to acquiesce, then Sarai dealt harshly with her and Hagar fled.  An angel appeared to Hagar and tried to give Hagar the right perspective.  He referred to Hagar as “maidservant” – trying to nudge her toward a recognition of her true origins and purpose in Avraham’s family.  But Hagar persisted.  She did not let Sarai raise her child as had been agreed.  She did not allow her child to grow up to reach his potential as the spiritual heir of Avraham and Sarai.  She was not m’vater, at her own expense.  She was not m’vater, at her child’s expense.

Because Hagar would not be m’vater - because Hagar could not subdue her ego -  she lost her chance at a wonderful legacy.  Hagar, the daughter of Pharaoh, had left her royal house to join the spiritually inviting house of Avraham.  She placed herself in a position that essentially gave her the potential to be known as the biological mother of a great and holy people – a claim to true honor and fame.  But her ego got in the way.  She could not subdue her ego, so Hagar lives in infamy as the mother of the treacherous Ishmael.

If only Hagar had seen those boys with their Dunkin Donuts.  If she could have seen how healthy it is to be m’vater, to subdue one’s own will- if not for oneself then for someone else.  Hagar’s progeny might not be feared today as one of the most dangerous groups to the civilized world, but they might have the privilege that our people, B’nei Yisroel, have - to be the light onto all nations.